


Acting Strange

by Lhugy_for_short



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ardyn tries his best to trick Noct, But Noct ain't havin that, Implied Relationships, M/M, Parody, magic shenanigans, or is he...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 14:42:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12256437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lhugy_for_short/pseuds/Lhugy_for_short
Summary: Noctis falls again and again for the same old tricks. But perhaps he isn't as blind as Ardyn believes him to be...For ArdyNoct Week 2017





	Acting Strange

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~~ ArdyNoct Week Day 3 submission here for the prompt "Illusion" (also a lil' bit of "Ardyn's voice is sexy and he knows it" because how could I not?). I hope I'm not breaking the rules here by having Noct make out with the other bros...since technically they're not actually the other bros. Anyway, here's a little bit of light fun to break up the darkness %D 
> 
> The title (and inspiration) come from the song "Handbrake" by Micatone. Honestly, modern noir is SO ArdyNoct and I can't get enough of it >D

They were in the middle of dinner when it happened. The lantern clipped to the awning of the caravan stopped flickering. Ignis stood with his mouth open in a silent reprimand next to Gladio, who was frozen with a cup of noodles half tucked in his shirt. Just out of the door, Prompto’s face was a mask of horror as his camera hung suspended in mid-air, the strap mere inches out of his unmoving reach. 

A pickling washed over Noctis, and he bolted to his feet. All around him, time had come to a stand-still. The air rippled with magic,  _ dark _ magic, and even before he heard the voice, he knew Ardyn was there. 

“Long time, no see, pet.” Noct whirled around to see him standing, as if he had always been there, next to one of the plastic lawn chairs. In his hands, a bowl of Ignis’ stew, steaming but untouched. “Miss me?”

“I thought I told you not to do this anymore.”

“Oh, did I interrupt your lovely meal?” Setting the soup on the chair, Ardyn started forward. Smiling, congenial. Not at all the face of a man who likely had a plethora of restraining orders against him. “Is it so wrong of me to see my darling baby prince.”

“Get off,” Noct groaned when bold fingers reached for his face. “You can’t just  _ show up  _ like this. Someone’s going to know….”

He glanced around Ardyn’s shoulder at the frozen forms of his three friends. One of these days, they were going to catch on to this little trick. They would find out all about how Noct had been fucking the Chancellor, sometimes right in front of their very eyes. And that was a path he was desperate not to have to go down. 

“Look. Just...not like this anymore,” he tried again, sighing. He didn’t flinch when Ardyn touched him this time, or when the rough stubble of his jaw scratched across his cheek. In fact, it sent a shiver through his body from his head to his toes - a familiar, and forbidden, thrill. “Promise me, Ardyn.”

A sigh. Those warm fingers uncurled from around his chin as the older man pulled away. “Very well. Shall I resume sending you those...oh, what were they called again?” He made a gesture with his hand that had Noct huffing and pushing him away. 

“Dick pics, and  _ no.  _ If you value your life, do not  _ ever _ send me one of those again.”

Ardyn’s lips fell into a pout as he pulled Noct back against him. “You can’t very well expect me to  _ abstain _ . Not now, after I’ve tasted such sinful pleasures from the Crown Prince himself.” For emphasis, he rubbed the pad of his thumb along the full, pink curve of Noct’s bottom lip, pressed down ever so slightly to draw more color to the surface. 

Noct could feel himself blushing all over his body. How could he help it when Ardyn was always so direct, so straight-to-the-point about sex. His compliments - and his voice - could make the prince weak at the knees almost instantly. It was humiliating at the best of times. “Ardyn….”

“Don’t worry, pet. I’ll go.”

_ Until he can find a new trick,  _ Noct thinks, eyes narrowing. “Like I trust you.”

“Probably better that you don’t.” With a smile and a tip of his hat, Ardyn turned to leave. Noct was still staring after him when the world blipped back into motion, and Prompto’s shriek tore suddenly through the magic-heavy air around the RV. 

“ _ Nooooo, my cameraaaa!” _

 

_ ************** _

“Okay, Specs. You and Prom go around, see if you can get a better view from the hill. Gladio and I can make a distraction from the trees if you need an escape route.”

“Very well.”

“You got it, buddy!”

Prompto high-fived him, then took off after Ignis already making for the ridge. That left Noct alone with Gladio. He glanced back at his Shield, nodded once, and then together they headed toward the thick brush at the edge of the woods. 

It was tough going. At one point, Noct was aware of Gladio’s footsteps growing softer, slower, as if they were coming from further and further away the longer they moved through the trees. He turned once to call out to him, but at that moment Gladio’s dark hair reappeared above a hedge only a few feet away. Frowning, Noct merely waved his hand and picked up the pace. 

From the edge of the woods, the entrance to the Imperial Base was right in plain view. Noct could make out the forms of soldiers and MTs moving between the oversized hangar gates, and even further into the bustling compound itself. With any luck, Ignis and Prompto were already scouting out their next target somewhere deep within. 

“Hey, come check this out,” he called to Gladio in a hushed tone as he crouched by the roots of a nearby tree. 

A large body suddenly kneeled down beside him, startling close. So close and so suddenly, in fact, that their thighs brushed and Noct nearly toppled over in surprise. He turned to glare at Gladio - what the hell was he playing at at a time like this?! - but found that his Shield’s eyes were already locked on him. Predatory, dangerous. 

“Dude? What the f-- _ Mmm!!” _

Out of nowhere, Gladio pounced. Noct was driven back against the tree behind him, hitting with enough force to knock the breath from his lungs right into the other’s demanding mouth. Even as his head spun, Gladio kissed him rougher, harder, until he could see stars in his vision and his chest burned. Actually, despite the suddenness and shock of the act, it wasn’t unlike how he’d  _ imagined  _ kissing Gladio would feel. Wild, exhilarating. Perhaps, in any other situation….  

One of those large, calloused hands slid under his ass to grope at soft flesh, and Noctis snapped. 

“Enough!” he shouted as he bit down on the tongue that had forced its way into his mouth. Gladio fell away and Noct took the opportunity to scramble up into a more guarded position against the tree, adjusting his clothes as he went. Amber eyes watched him - wounded - under heavy lids.

“Ow- _ ww _ …. Alright, perhaps I deserved that,” Gladio said in a very un-Gladio-like voice. “Did I come on too strong?”

Noct’s stomach began an impressive series of somersaults. 

“Because I really could have sworn you and the hairy gorilla man were fucking.” 

“Ardyn.”

“He certainly seems like your type, after all. Big and loud and barely clothed.”

“ _ Ardyn.” _

“With such a nice cock, too. Oh, I was so sure this would work.”

“ _ ARDYN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.” _

Those familiar amber eyes twinkled yellow-gold for a split second, and then like that he was gone. Noct glowered after him into nothingness for a long, strained moment, until at last Gladio - the  _ real  _ one - came crashing through the bushes, sword raised. 

“What? What is it?” he growled as he took in a quick scan of the prince, the matted grass, the empty space. “I heard yelling.”

“Nothing. Our cover’s been blown.” Without another word, Noct pushed himself off the tree and stalked past his Shield back toward camp.

 

***************************

It wasn’t unusual that Noct was the last to wake up. Especially not on a cloudy, misty morning like the one he stepped out of the tent to see now. What  _ was  _ unusual, however, was the fact that their campsite seemed to be abandoned - all except for Prompto, who stood out on the ridge of a neighboring rock snapping photos of…well, whatever he was snapping photos of. Fog most likely, if Noct had to take a guess. 

“Hey, where is everybody?” he called out, taking a moment to stretch his arms up over his head and yawn. Prompto turned and flashed a smile. 

“Morning, buddy! Oh, y’know how those two are. Gladio went out for a jog, and Iggy mentioned something about wanting to look for rare mushrooms around here.”

“In this weather?” But Prompto merely shrugged his shoulders and went back to taking pics, so Noctis let it go. Either way, they’d be back before too long. They’d have to, or else they were going to miss their hunt again. None of them wanted to spend yet another day trudging through the marshes of the Vesperpool only to come up empty-handed again. 

In the meantime, though, he could at least enjoy a morning of peace and rela -- 

“Noct! Hey, Noct!!” 

Sigh. Prompto was waving at him excitedly from out of the thickening mist. “I think I just spotted a black chocobo! Come on, before he gets away!”

“Dude, Prom, can’t we just -- ?” But the gunslinger was already moving, hopping down from the rocks and scuttling off alone into the wilderness of the Versperpool. Noct let out another sigh. As unlikely as it was that Prompto had actually seen anything other than a shadow out there, he  _ was _ likely to get himself eaten by something worse. Without the other two around, rescuing him was a job for a prince.

“Prom, hey! Wait up!” 

His friend had taken off at breakneck speed, it seemed. There was already no sign of him in the thick mist, and within moments Noct, too, was beginning to lose track of directions. Was camp behind him, or to the left? And dammit, where the hell was the sun?

“Proooom! Prompto, can you hear me?” His voice rang out in the emptiness, and he whirled around trying to catch some kind of answer. There was nothing at first, and then, suddenly —

“...ct! Noct! Help!”

_ Shit! _ Thinking whatever it was Prompto had seen in the fog had finally caught up with him, Noct took off running toward the source of his friend’s cry. His fingers twitched at his side as he went, ready to pull his sword from the armiger at the first sign of trouble. 

“Prom, where are you?”

“Over here, Noct, hurry!”

The mist began to clear in front of him. The ground there was wet, muddy, devoid of the usual rocks and broken ruins that littered most of the area. Noctis noticed there were large tracks, too - footprints from some kind of beast - and places where the mud was scattered, dug up. Signs of a struggle. And then, just as Noct started to call out again for Prompto, he saw him. 

His yellow hair was matted in places with something dark - dirt or blood? - and he was hugging one knee to his chest, rocking back and forth as if in pain. The moment Noct approached, blue eyes flickered up to him, wide, scared. 

“Noct! It came out of nowhere and —!”

“Are you okay? Let me see.”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, just….”

“Prom, show me.” Noct got down onto his knees at Prompto’s side, batted his hand away from his ankle where the flesh was red and swollen. He pressed his fingers to it, and heard Prompto hiss with pain. “Looks sprained. Come on, we gotta get you back to camp and wait for Iggy.”

“I’m sorry,” came the soft sigh as Noct helped his friend stand. One arm around his waist, they took several hobbling steps back in the direction they’d come from. 

“What are you sorry for?” A grunt, and Noct shifted Prompto closer for a better hold. Somehow, he felt heavier than he remembered. “Not your fault some stupid monster decided you’d make a good snack.”

Prompto laughed weakly. “It is my fault, though. I shouldn’t have run off. I’m always messing everything up….”

“Dude, it’s fine. You’ve learned your lesson now, right?”

“Yeah.” There was a quiet sniff. Prompto reached up to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand - but when he finished, he replaced it not at his own side, but around Noct’s shoulders instead. “You’re always so nice to me. Noct, I….”

_ Uh, oh.  _ He tried to ignore the blue eyes searching his face, the fingers playing with the collar of his shirt, or the way Prompto’s body leaned into him with every step. It was difficult. 

“Noct? Can...can I kiss you?”

“W-what?!” 

“You saved me, like a real prince. I just wanna… like the stories…. please?”

Noctis swallowed. Stopped moving for a moment so he could turn to look at his best friend. For a long time, he’d suspected Prompto had...feelings for him, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t somewhat mutual. But...so suddenly…?!

“U-um. Okay, I guess….”

He expected a peck on the cheek, or at most an awkward brush of lips against his. But no sooner had the words left his mouth than Prompto was kissing him - _ really kissing him,  _ with tongue and teeth and soft moans spilling into the air. Familiar, delicate fingers twined in his hair and pulled him closer, Prompto pressed up against his chest and, as though his injury was already miraculously healed, walked him backwards until he was pinned between his best friend and a tree. 

“ _ Mm-mm!  _ Prom, woah! S-slow down! Your ankle —“

“I love you, Noct. I need you so bad, it hurts.”

“D-dude?!”

“Fuck me, please! I’ll do anything!”

“Prompto?!”

The blonde dropped to his knees, looked up at Noct with his blue eyes so full of need, and kissed a heated line across the front of his pants. Noct was frozen - caught between wanting to stop this and never wanting it to end. Yet there was also a nagging sensation in the back of his mind that kept him from moving in either direction. Something that warned him Prompto was acting strange, not like himself at all. And his ankle…. 

Noct’s heart sank as realization dawned on him. 

“Prom?” he asked, trying to steady his voice. “Where’s your camera?”

“...My what?”

“...Fuck.” With a well aimed kick, Noct sent Ardyn tumbling back into the mud. Dark laughter bubbled up from a mouth that looked so convincingly innocent, and then blue eyes were watching him from the ground. 

“You’re good at this game, pet. I honestly thought I had you this time.”

Not bothering to reply, Noct turned on his heel and stormed off into the mist. Taking his inappropriate erection, and the sound of Ardyn’s voice, all the way back to camp.

 

**************

It had been years since they’d done this. The last time Noct could remember going stargazing with Iggy, he was only eleven and they’d watched the sky from the roof of the Citadel. 

But out here, away from the city lights and pollution, the stars twinkled like a million points of magic. There were so many, more than he could count in a single lifetime. It made him feel small, but also so, so full of life. 

“Hey, Specs,” he smiled, glancing over at his advisor and longest friend in the seat beside him. “You remember all the names of the constellations?”

“Of course I do.” Green eyes flashed in a playful light as, adjusting his glasses, he leaned back against the headrest and began to scan the sky. “That one, if you recall, is the Hunter. Can you find his bow?”

Noct leaned closer, followed Ignis’ finger to a group of stars low near the horizon. “Umm, no. Remind me?”

With a knowing smirk, Iggy curled his fingers around Noct’s wrist and guided his hand up to the correct spot. If he noticed the way the prince’s pulse quickened under his touch, he didn’t mention it. “There, just above the right wing of the Tyrant. Can you make it out?”

“Mmm.”

“And there,” Ignis continued, voice dropping ever so subtly as he drew Noct’s closer to his chest. “Is Fang, father of the dragons. His tail leads all the way to — “

“To the Meteor. Yeah, that was my favorite story as a kid.” 

Ignis turned his head to favor him with a smile. “So it was. Glad to see you remember some of your studies, at least.”

“Only the important stuff.” 

“ _ Indeed _ .”

Noct was glad for the light of the moon. It illuminated the blush that colored Ignis’ cheeks, and the pale length of both of their fingers as they twined together. Their eyes met in the space between them. Noct could almost feel Iggy’s heart beating, smiled and closed the distance before either of them could say anything stupid and ruin the moment. 

Against his lips, Ignis’ breath was warm, familiar. Came in short, shallow puffs that urged Noct closer, drew him right into his lap in the backseat of the Regalia as their mouths locked tight. Beneath him, Ignis let out a low moan that Noctis felt in his own chest, and twisted his fingers around fistfuls of black hair. 

“ _ Mmm _ , that’s it,” the prince purred into the kiss. “You always know right where to touch.”

“Yes.” Green eyes darkened ever so slightly with deepening lust. “It’s been so long, Noct….”

“I know.” A soft kiss, tender to the corner of Iggy’s pretty mouth. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“ _ Ahh. _ Are you...certain it’s safe to…?” 

“No one’s gonna catch us. I promise.” Noct’s lips trailed lower, across a smooth cheek, down to that razor-sharp jaw, leaving wet kisses in his wake. “Please, don’t stop, Ardyn.”

The hands on his lower back froze The body beneath him went deathly still. “....What did you say?”

“I told you not to stop.” Noct pulled back just enough to stare down into emerald eyes half-hidden by dark frames, and smirked. “Unless you’ve changed your mind…?”

Between them, a shadow passed as quick as the blink of an eye. Gone was the clean-shaven, bespectacled face of his advisor - in its place, the rough, crooked smile and yellow-gold gaze of the Chancellor of Niflheim. “Alright, pet. You win.”

“And  _ you’re  _ busted.”

“I did try so hard this time,” Ardyn sighed. “Humor me a moment. What was it that gave me away? Did I miss one of the stars?”

Noct shrugged and, to the older man’s surprise, settled down deeper into his lap. “Not like I’d know if you did. Honestly, it was just a lucky guess.” 

If Ardyn’s eyebrows could have raised any higher, they would have disappeared into his hairline. “Quite the risk you took, I imagine.”

“Worth the reward.” He guided Ardyn’s hands back around his waist, smiled as he brushed his lips over that stubble-covered chin. “If you’re still in the mood to fuck me, that is.”

A gasp as Ardyn surged forward, tugging Noct’s ass down flush against his hips even as he raised him off the seat. When he grinned, Noct grinned with him. 

“Pet, I can think of nothing I desire more.”


End file.
